True Life Story : I Prayed & Wished For A Marriage Like My Parents But I See What I Got

True Life Story : I Prayed & Wished For A Marriage Like My Parents But I See What I Got

Hello Lively Stones,

Mine is a short story but I need your advise. I am someone who believes in the sanctity of marriage. My parents have been married for over 35 years. I always prayed to meet someone like my dad, cos he is the definition of husband material. My mother truly is a blessed woman. However, since I became an adult, I have been unlucky in love. I started dating in my university but the guy was playing with my heart.

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I stayed away from relationship for a while until I met a guy that I thought was the one. He was good for almost two years, I thought he was the one but eventually everything went south. I have stayed single ever since. I was determined to be celibate until I meet the one God has for me. I celebrated my 30th birthday as a single girl. It hurt but I was determined that God will do it for me.

I joined a whatsapp group eight months ago, the group is all about Christian dating and all that. I noticed one guy from the group always watching my status. One day, he said hi in my dm and we started chatting. We chatted for months. He told me everything about himself and I told him everything too. He told me he was divorced but looking for a good Christian woman to marry cos he does not want to make same mistakes like his first marriage.

What he told me was that his first wife was a lesbian and he caught her with another woman in their home. So, he wants to be sure before he marries someone else. After almost 4 months of online dating, we met for the first time. I was awestruck cos not only was he handsome, he was rich. He sent his driver to pick me up. Took me to fancy restaurants. I was treated like a queen. He gave me money too.

Another two months later, he proposed. I was over the moon. The only problem was, he had not met my family physically but they have spoken on the phone. He said his own family lived in South Africa and they will meet me after our traditional wedding in Naija cos the white wedding will be in SA. We started planning traditional wedding. We were to travel to my place for it, so he asked me to come to his place, to spend the night and next month, we both take a very early morning flight to Enugu.

That night, I saw a different man. He wanted s3x and I told him no. He said he was horny and he wanted to test to make sure I was not a lesbian. All these made me finally give myself to him. He made love to me and it was great, I can’t lie. I already saw him as my husband since we were flying out next morning for trad wedding. After he made love to me, around 2.30am, he told me he loves me and wants me to know the whole truth before the traditional wedding takes place.

That was when he told me that he was still married to his wife and she is truly a lesbian but they agreed to remain married in paper so that her sexuality can remain a secret as she is from a wealthy family and they dont want her exposed. And also, the woman is the main source of their wealth. So, everything this guy has, is for the woman. She is in SA with her lover but she comes to naija sometimes. He said they both agreed he can have a second wife but only traditionally. So, he is allowed to marry me but it can only be traditionally and that he wanted to be sure I am the right person for him before he told me.

You see ehn….I thought I was dreaming…I could not believe my ears. I just made love to this guy…our flight to Enugu is in a few hours and he is just telling me that he is still married to another woman but he can only marry me traditionally….I told him I feel deceived and cannot go through with the trad wedding. He begged me and swore to me that nothing has changed, that he will still love me and treat me right but the other marriage is like a business contract for him.

Of course we did not travel that morning. I went back home crying. I have not been myself ever since. This man is still begging me and asking me to think about it. That it will be good opportunity for me, that I will never lack anything, that I should look as someone like Regina who married a billionaire and is very happy. He said nothing is wrong with polygamous marriage if everyone has an understanding and the man is able to provide for the woman.

The problem is, he should have told me earlier…I fell in love with him, slept with him and he dropped this bombshell on me, last minute. I feel he cannot be trust worthy and I do not think this is what I should settle for after waiting for over 30 years of my life for the man that is God’s will for me. I am battling this issue in my mind. What should I do? I love him but is this the kind of life I want for myself?

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Is traditional marriage valid? Will my marriage be a happy one? Will the other wife be a problem? Will I not be jealous of sharing my man? What will my parents say….after training me in monogamy…now I want to enter polygamy? I told God the next man I have s3x with must be my husband, is this God’s sign to me? Will it work? Again, do you agree that he deceived me or he at least was honest by telling me the truth before the trad wedding? I need advise.

Anonymous

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