True Life Story: I Am Depressed-My Wife Still Loves Me But Left Me Because Of Poverty

True Life Story: I Am Depressed-My Wife Still Loves Me But Left Me Because Of Poverty

Dear Jzhane,

Please help me, I am depressed. It all started six years ago, when my family insisted I got married even though I told them I was not financially ready. Things have not gone according to plan as a first born son of my family. I dropped out of school (JSS 3) to help train my younger ones. I got a job as a clerk in a government agency after doing bus conductor work and did my GCE with whatever I could spare from other odd jobs, so I could help my siblings at least finish higher institution.

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At my age, tow of my younger sisters have married, my younger brother already had someone to marry but my parents insisted as the first sone, I had to marry first before my brother. So, my parents brought me a girl they felt was well trained in the village, she was a school set holder and a virgin. The difference in age was much cos I was already 36 while she was 18. My family made all the arrangements for the simple traditional marriage and brought this girl to me.

When I saw her, I was stunned cos she was indeed very beautiful and she was very respectful. My friends were shocked and even asked me to help them find wife for them too….lol. All was well but we were still struggling financially. I tried to get her a job as a sales girl and that was my mistake. Of course, she got pregnant immediately we got married but to feed was an issue, so after she gave birth, we took the baby at eight months to my mother to look after.

I told her she should wait for another 2 to 3 years before we have the second baby, after all, she is very young. So, she was supposed to focus on her sales job and save up while I continued to hustle and save up too. Every month, we tried to send money to my mom for the baby and also save a little bit cos we needed a bigger apartment than my one room apartment and also needed to seek better financial future for both of us. I even told her that maybe she should go back to school and do like part time OND so she can have better opportunities in life.

Again, that was my mistake: my wife took her not giving birth again as her freedom. I started noticing not too long that she was no longer as reserved: she was on Facebook and social media, she was always chatting with friends on WhatsApp. I told her to get off social media but she would hide and continue.

The shy village girl was gradually becoming a city girl and she even began to talk back at me when I tried to talk to her. The next thing that happened after almost two years of marriage was that, she started saying she cannot continue to suffer with me, that I am like bad luck. That why would I be almost 40 years old, living on one room in this big Lagos where a lot of people younger than me are doing way better than me.

I was not going to let this small girl disrespect me so I told her to leave if she felt she was suffering and I was not man enough or rich enough for her. I said that in anger but she took it literally cos one day, before I came back from work, she had moved her things out and sent a message that she is no longer interested in the marriage. I called her parents and mine and they all tried to talk to her. She eventually came back but things were never the same. We were barely speaking to each other except having s3x.

Infact, I noticed her s3x drive was now even higher. I told her to stop her contraception, so we can try for the second baby. I thought that would make her devout more to the marriage but she lied cos she never got pregnant after four months of trying. And then she would run away from home from time to time again. I got tired and told her to leave permanently. I threw her things away and she left. I never heard from her for almost a month.

A month later, she came back and I could not recognize her. She was dressed so sexy and so attractive. She said that I should forgive her, that she is trying to make a better life for her. I asked her if she is back and she said lets just make love first. I missed her and she was seducing me…I was hard and let her have her way. The next day she left and said she was going to bring her things. This continued or almost two months, she would come for s3x and leave saying she is thinking about it.

Well, its been a year of doing hide and seek s3x with my wife, I just found out that she has taken one man to the village and they did introduction for marriage. Her parents sent back her bride price to my family. I was shocked but accepted it as the will of God. I tried to move on but this woman kept sending me s3x messages. She said she was marrying for a better life but that she still loved me. Infact, she has been controlling me cos she tells me that she wants me and I have been encouraging her to come let me f#ck her good and she has been coming.

I am sorry to say this but she is married to another man but she is pregnant for me now. This is a messed-up situation. She is asking me to keep this a secret so that our child can have a better life cos I am not financially buoyant. I told her no way but she is begging me to understand cos she clearly has shown she loves me but my condition has not improved. She even gives me money from time to time. Its shameful and hurts me that sometimes I feel suicidal. Like why is my luck like this? Where am working, they have not paid almost 2 months’ salary, my house rent in this dilapidated one room is due….its my ex-wife that has been sustaining me.

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This is shameful for me. I am approaching almost 40 years. I have a child in the village I cannot fend for…another living with another man under pretense that he is the father…and every week, am f#cking a woman who is ashamed of everything about me except my dick. My ex wife even jokingly has asked me to get sugar mummies that will pay me cos I f#ck very well…can you imagine….

What else should I be living for? My younger siblings refuse to help, they feel like as an older brother, its my duty to help them and not vice versa. You see how wicked human beings are? The same people I sacrificed my life for….I think they too are even ashamed of me… I am depressed and I need advise before I have no choice but to end it all.

Anonymous

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