I haven’t returned the book a coworker lent me 4 years ago, boss won’t let us use AI transcription, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. A coworker lent me a book four years ago and I still haven’t returned it

This feels very low-stakes, but it’s something that hovers at the back of my mind. About four years ago, a coworker and I were talking about books we were reading, and she gushed about a great one she’d just finished. The next day, she brought a copy of the book to the office and gave it to me, suggesting I should read it.

Since then, I’ve moved twice, I still have the book, and I still haven’t read it. I am avoiding returning it because I’m embarrassed that I haven’t read it (I’m a big reader, but I very much read by mood, and this book is outside my usual genres so I’ve never felt a strong urge to pick it up).

I still work for the same office and see that coworker regularly and we have a good relationship. She’s never mentioned the book again, and I honestly don’t know if she remembers I still have it (I do wonder if she’s one of those people who lends books without expecting them to be returned?). It’s not a problem or affecting our work relationship at all, it’s just something that is weighing on me and I feel guilty about it every time I see the book on my nightstand, unread and unreturned.

What should I do? Is it too late to return it now (four years!)? Is it awful to return it and say that I never read it? What if she says, “Oh no, feel free to keep it until you read it” and I still never read it?

It’s not too late to return the book! Maybe she’s completely forgotten it or maybe she hasn’t and wishes you’d returned it but doesn’t want to say anything — who knows. But it’s hers, you have it, and you can just give it back!

When you do, you could just say, “It’s been so long since you loaned it to me and I never ended up reading it so I figured it was past time for me to return it. Thanks for letting me borrow it.” If she tells you to feel free to keep it until you read it, say, “I figure if I haven’t read it at this point, I’m probably not going to so I’d feel better returning it. But I appreciate you giving me the chance to!”

If you feel weird about not reading it — well, first, you don’t need to feel weird. Most readers know that not everything will grab everyone. But if she says something that makes you feel she wants a further explanation, you can just say, “It’s not my usual genre so I think I really had to be in the right mood for it” or “my reading list is ungodly long and I can’t stop reading fantasy heists so I’ll probably never get to it” or “at the moment I am only reading oral histories of frog empires” or whatever you want!

2. How can we convince our boss to let us use AI transcription?

My organization (academic healthcare center) recently purchased MS Copilot licenses. Very quickly my coworkers and I started using the meeting transcription function to take meeting notes. It’s amazing! You can actually pay attention in the meeting and the AI will create a summary of the call and list action items.

My supervisor recently decided we are not allowed to use this tool at all, even for internal meetings. He is worried about discoverability in case of litigation, apparently having lived through it once.

Several of us feel this is taking things to an extreme and we are feeling demoralized that this great productivity tool is now off-limits. (Not to mention the implicit implication that we may be breaking the law in meetings.)

I am looking into whether we have an org-wide policy on this matter, but it’s pretty new. I’ve seen other schools develop policies to address this by limiting how long full transcripts are kept and who has access to them. Do you have any suggestions on how to address this with my boss, who will probably be defensive and prickly if I bring it up?

It’s really your boss’s prerogative to decide that the tool is a security or legal risk, even if AI transcription tools are allowed in the broader organization — and it might be a very valid concern, particularly in a healthcare context. There have been quite a few problems with AI transcription, including making up entire sections of conversations that never happened and getting nuance wrong enough that the entire meaning is changed.

You can certainly try explaining why you’ve found the tool so helpful and see if you’re able to come up with limitations that would mitigate his concerns — but ultimately it’s his call to make, and you should stay open to the possibility that it’s the right one.

3. I have a job offer that’s better than my current job in some ways and worse in others

I currently work a job as a legal recruiter. I like the people in my office, and I work in the office three days a week and am remote two days a week. My team is not based in my office, and I like them most of the time, except when things are stressful I think there is a tendency to punch down. During one such stressful period, I started a job application and I am supposed to get the offer today.

The offer is for $20-35K more and bumps me to a senior manager title (two steps up). The downsides are a week less of vacation, worse healthcare, and it’s fully in person which I have never worked before as someone who graduated right before Covid started.

I like the money and I like the vibe of the people I interviewed with. However, it’s an older firm with more old ways of doing things, whereas my current firm is very new-aged and leading the industry in terms of lawyer compensation. To top it all off, here I am on a four-person team and there I would be on a 100+ person team, so it makes growth into a decision making position seem further away.

What do I do? Do I give my current place a chance to counter in hopes of making manager?

It’s hard to evaluate how significant a raise that is without knowing what you’re making now (a $25,000 raise can have a huge impact if you’re currently making $50,000 and less of one if you’re currently making $150,000). But it seems pretty likely that the lost week of vacation, worse healthcare, and extra in-office days will eat up a lot, if not most, of that bump. If you haven’t already, make sure to do the math on those things to find out what the bump actually will be once you account for those in the equation. After that, it really comes down to how you feel about each company and the work of each position.

Wherever you land, though, I don’t recommend trying to use the offer to get a counteroffer out of your current employer. First, there’s a chance they’ll say they can’t offer you anything close and so you should take the other offer. Second, taking a counteroffer can come with a lot of problems (described here) — not always, but often.

4. Should I tell my boss what I know about a micromanager on the team?

My direct supervisor, Shayla, manages two other people. One of them, Stephanie, has five direct reports. Since we are on the same team, I am close with Stephanie and her reports, even though we have different focuses.

In the last four years, two people who worked under Stephanie have left and told me it was because of her micromanaging. Currently, two more of her staff have told me that they are getting frustrated with the way she manages. They do not have immediate plans to move on, but also do not see a long-term future under Stephanie.

I have given them advice about speaking to Stephanie, which does not go over well as she does not see herself as micromanaging. I have also advised that they speak with Shayla themselves, but they worry about the effects of going over Stephanie’s head.

Shayla has told me in the past how frustrating it is to keep hiring and she hopes that the current staff stay. At what point should I (if ever) mention to her that I know the reason why people are leaving?

Shayla is raising the issue with you and expressing concern about it and you have info she doesn’t have — info that’s arguably highly relevant to the healthy functioning of your team. You should raise it now.

You need to be careful in how you do it so it’s not relayed to Stephanie in a way that risks her retaliating against the people who confided in you — and you should raise that concern explicitly with Shayla — but you should speak up.

5. What’s a performance plan?

I’ve never had an annual review because I’ve always worked in a highly unionized environment, so certain terms sometimes confuse me.

A friend recently started a new job (non-union) and everything seems to be going well. She gets very positive feedback from her colleagues and bosses, but her boss also said they should meet about a performance plan.

Is this different from a PIP? It would be strange to me if she was put on a PIP shortly after joining and with all this great feedback from her boss but I really don’t know much about the world outside my union bubble!

Some companies use “performance plan” to mean “plan for what you should be achieving in the next 6-12 months” (or whatever time period) without there being any component of “because you are not currently meeting expectations.” Which is confusing, because it’s extremely close to “performance improvement plan” (generally used when someone isn’t doing well and needs to make changes to remain in the job), and some companies even drop the “improvement” from that name and just say “performance plan” and now you have two identical terms that can mean different things. So you just need to know how a particular company uses it.

In your friend’s case, I’d assume it’s not the disciplinary type of plan unless she hears otherwise!

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