I can’t keep up at work

A reader writes:

I worked with an incredibly talented team of colleagues, and I feel like my own work isn’t anywhere near their level. I regularly complete far fewer projects than anyone else on the team, and I still need help on things they all seem to do independently.

This isn’t the job I started in at this company. I was originally in a different role, but after a major corporate restructure two years ago I was moved into this position. I’m very sure I couldn’t have passed the hiring process for this job otherwise because I’m clearly not qualified; I just landed here because they needed somewhere to put me. Two years in, I’ve gotten better at the work than I was when I first started in the role, but … I’m still not good at it. I frequently don’t fully understand how to succeed at my assignments, and I often have to seek advice and guidance from my manager and other coworkers.

I honestly don’t think I’m smart enough to be on this team. I know that probably sounds like I’m being excessively self-deprecating, but all of our metrics are public and so I can see that I complete far less work than anyone else does. I can also see that my work needs the most corrections, even though I’m usually given the easiest tasks. It’s to the point that recently a brand new hire was assigned to redo a project I thought I’d done okay with.

We don’t really have formal training available, and we’re supposed to rely on asking each other questions when we need help. I do ask questions — lots of them — but it’s also humiliating to admit how much help I really need, and I can’t really ask for the amount of time it would take to give me the full amount of guidance I’d need each day.

Despite all of this, my manager praises my work and notes where I’ve improved since I started. And, fortunately, the other people on my team are lovely and kind, and no one has ever been impatient with me. But I hate feeling like a dead weight and seeing constant reminders that I’m the least useful person here.

All that said, there are good things about the job. It pays well and it’s fully remote, and I’ve learned a ton from being around my colleagues. So I’d like to keep trying and doing the best job I can, but it’s so hard to cope emotionally with being the weakest link on the team. Can you think of anything to make this better?

You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today. Head over there to read it.

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