How to Protect Your Emotional Space at Work

Early in my career, I worked for a leader who had a lot of emotional intensity. Extreme highs and lows were common. Every day, I would arrive at work walking on eggshells, waiting to see what kind of mood he was in because that would determine the kind of day I had.

After about a year, it suddenly dawned on me that my response to him was very unhealthy. I was letting HIS emotional state dictate MY emotional state. I had allowed myself to become a victim. I had abdicated my own responsibility and given another person too much control over my life.

That’s when I developed a handy, somewhat silly, but very powerful strategy for managing my own emotional space. It’s a strategy I still use today and one that I’ve shared with hundreds, if not thousands, of professionals through my training programs. While it may seem trivial on the surface, I know from first-hand experience and through the experience of my training participants, that it REALLY works.

So, without further ado, here it is:

Think of your emotional landscape as sacred space inside you. It’s like your home. And nothing comes into your home without your permission.

Now, imagine the people and things happening at work are on the front lawn of your home. You can go out there. You can provide comfort, and support, and assistance. But, at the end of the day, you need to leave them outside. They do not come inside your home with their dirty shoes.

You are responsible for your managing home. It is your scared space. Don’t let anyone or anything inside that doesn’t serve you. YOU choose what and who comes in.

This is really simple but powerful imagery that helps to create a healthy emotional detachment at work.

The next time someone or something is getting under your skin, visualize (metaphorically) kicking them to the curb! Not in a violent or rude way, but in a compassionate, empowered way. Remember: you can still care about the person and the situation. You’re just not internalizing it. You’re keeping a healthy, responsible distance.

I hope you find this strategy helpful! Let me know how it goes over on LinkedIn.

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