how should I have handled my employee crying in a meeting?

A reader writes:

I manage two engineers, Clara and Marty. We recently had an incident where something we created for another team fell short of the requester’s expectations. It was less detailed than they wanted and in a different format. I think this was a case of miscommunication between our teams and it’s ultimately my responsibility to make sure that requirements are clear on both sides.

When we talked about next steps, the engineer who wrote the document, Clara, was visibly upset and turned off her camera briefly. When she turned it back on, she was clearly crying. This caught me off-guard and I wasn’t sure what to do. I made a split second decision to basically ignore her physical response and focus on how we should respond to the document issue as a team. I emphasized that I was taking the blame for the misstep, and I asked Clara and Marty to work together to recreate the document by the end of the week, since they’re more familiar with the inner workings of the relevant products than I am.

Clara’s work is very good, and I don’t blame her for the document’s issues. She’s a valued member of the team, and this is the first negative feedback she’s gotten in about a year working with us. I want her to know that negative feedback is expected on occasion and this isn’t a major issue.

I always want my staff to feel supported, but I’m second-guessing myself right now. Did I do the right thing in not responding to emotions in the moment? Should I reach out one-on-one and offer encouragement, or would that be more likely to upset her when it isn’t necessary?

I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

Other questions I’m answering there today include:

• My communication style seems all wrong for the South
• Bathroom breaks during one-on-one video calls

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