8 phrases you should start using if you struggle with small talk

If you’re an introvert like me, you likely struggle with small talk.

The awkward pauses, the pressure of keeping the conversation going – it can all get a bit too much, right?

Disliking small talk is often not about being socially awkward or lacking social skills, it’s just how some of us are wired.

But here’s the good news – it’s absolutely possible to get better at it (even if you’re an introvert).

In this article, I’m sharing 8 phrases that are small-talk game-changers. These phrases are designed to make small talk a lot less cringy and a lot more enjoyable!

1) “How’s your day going?”

This is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to initiate small talk.

It’s a phrase that puts the focus on the other person, allowing them to share about their day.

For example, if you’re in an elevator with a coworker, instead of awkward silence, you can ask them, “How’s your day going?”

This opens up a conversation without putting too much pressure on you.

Sure, they might reply with a mere “Fine” or “Good”. But don’t let that deter you.

You can follow up with a comment about your day or something you’re looking forward to.

This keeps the conversation flowing and before you know it, you’re engaged in small talk.

2) “I don’t know much about that, can you tell me more?”

Now, this might seem like an unusual phrase to use, especially if you’re aiming to keep a conversation going. However, it can actually work wonders.

By admitting that you’re not familiar with the topic at hand, you’re opening up an opportunity for the other person to share their knowledge. This can lead to some engaging and enlightening conversations.

For instance, let’s say your colleague starts talking about a new book they’ve just finished reading.

If you’re not much of a reader, instead of fumbling for something to say or changing the subject, you can simply say, “I don’t know much about that, can you tell me more?”

This shows your willingness to learn and your interest in what the other person has to say. Plus, it takes the pressure off of you to keep coming up with things to talk about.

3) “That’s really interesting, how did you get into that?”

We all love to talk about ourselves and our interests. In fact, studies have shown that talking about ourselves triggers the same pleasure sensation in the brain as food or money.

So, when you ask someone, “That’s really interesting, how did you get into that?”, you’re inviting them to delve into their passions and experiences.

This not only keeps the conversation flowing but also creates a positive association with you.

For example, if someone mentions they love hiking, instead of just nodding and saying “That’s cool,” ask them how they discovered this love for hiking.

This could lead to them sharing fascinating stories or experiences, making the conversation much more engaging than just a simple exchange of information.

Not only will this question help keep the conversation going, it also shows that you’re genuinely interested in the other person’s story.

And trust me, people love being around those who are genuinely interested in what they have to say.

4) “You seem to really know a lot about this, I love learning new things from people like you”

This phrase is a beautiful way to not only keep the conversation going, but also to make the other person feel valued and appreciated.

When someone is passionate about a particular subject, acknowledging their expertise can make them feel seen and heard.

It encourages them to open up and share more about their interests and knowledge.

For instance, if you’re talking to someone who is an avid gardener and you don’t know the first thing about plants, instead of pretending to understand or changing the subject, let them know you admire their knowledge.

Say, “You seem to really know a lot about this, I love learning new things from people like you.”

This not only keeps the conversation alive but also builds a positive connection with the other person.

They’ll feel good about sharing their knowledge and you’ll learn something new – it’s a win-win!

5) “I’ve been there too, it’s not easy”

Most of us have faced challenges and struggles at some point in our lives.

According to psychology, when someone shares about a difficult situation they’re going through, responding with empathy and understanding can make them feel less alone.

For example, if someone is talking about the stress of balancing work and personal life, you might say, “I’ve been there too, it’s not easy.”

This phrase helps to create a deeper connection by showing that you understand their feelings and experiences.

It’s not about comparing your experiences or trying to solve their problem. It’s simply about acknowledging their situation and expressing empathy.

This can lead to a more meaningful conversation and help build a stronger rapport.

6) “Did I ever tell you about the time when…?”

Sharing your own experiences can be a great way to keep a conversation going.

Psychology shows that sharing personal stories makes the interaction more personal and creates a sense of intimacy and closeness.

For instance, “Did I ever tell you about the time when I tried to bake a cake for the first time and it turned out to be a disaster?”

This not only makes for an amusing story but also opens up avenues for further conversation – they might share their own baking disasters or give you some tips for next time.

Using this phrase doesn’t mean you have to reveal deep secrets or personal traumas.

Even sharing simple anecdotes about your life can make small talk more interesting and relatable.

7) “You know, life’s too short to worry about that”

Sometimes, we all need a little reality check when we’re getting caught up in trivial matters.

This phrase can be a gentle reminder for both you and the person you’re talking to.

Imagine your friend is fretting over a minor mistake they made at work.

Instead of offering empty platitudes, you might say, “You know, life’s too short to worry about that.”

This can help put things into perspective and shift the focus of the conversation to more important or positive things.

Of course, it’s not about dismissing someone’s feelings or concerns. It’s about helping them realize that some things might not be worth the stress they’re causing.

And who knows, this phrase might just lead to a more profound and meaningful conversation.

8) “Let’s not forget, we’re all human”

At the end of the day, the most important thing to remember when it comes to small talk, or any conversation for that matter, is that we’re all human.

We all have our strengths, weaknesses, interests, and experiences.

When someone shares something with you, responding with “Let’s not forget, we’re all human” can be a powerful way to create a bond and deepen the conversation.

It’s a reminder that we all make mistakes, have our own struggles and achievements, and each of us has a unique story to tell.

This phrase recognizes our shared humanity and uses that as a basis for meaningful connections.

In conclusion

Even if small talk feels awkward or pointless, it can be a wonderful way to build connections.

However, the way you approach small talk will determine the success you have with it.

These 8 phrases are here to help you navigate through those awkward moments and turn them into meaningful conversations.

With time and effort, small talk can become a powerful tool for building relationships and expanding your network.